OK, what the fuck was that?
President Obama tours battleground and Hurricane Isaac-affected states en route to the Democratic National Convention (DNC). I don’t have anything snarky to say about this, it’s just an interesting tactic and I thought you’d like to know.
Speaking of the DNC, don’t carry water bottles, markers, socks or hairspray there; apparently sock-bombing is a security threat. No, organizers, that’s shoes. Try to keep up.
Obama shifts gears to foreign policy, directing federal agencies to expand help to soldiers suffering from mental health problems. Yeah, now. Go figure.
Former Gov. Mitt Romney (R-MA) promises absolutely nothing new in a speech in Cincinnati. Has anyone compared speeches of all presidential nominees to identify common promises? There must be dozens.
In what will come as a shock to Graham from Winnipeg, nobody who gave a speech at the Republican National Convention (RNC) talked about war – except for that one guy who told the chair it was a mistake. (Seriously, what the fuck was that?!) Have they finally accepted that war is unpopular and untenable these days? Fascinating.
Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) is eager to debate Vice President Biden. Only the wonks will be eager to tune into that one. There’s zero chance of Ryan babbling incoherently or vomiting onstage, so there’s really not much of a hook. It’s just happening.
Former White House everything czar Karl Rove apologizes to Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO) for inferring that he’d like to murder him. OK, Rove is supposed to be the clever one, right? Right?!
Lawmakers from New England pursue a $100 million relief package for fishermen, wanting them to be treated the same as Midwestern farmers. Oh, how I hope this is Swiftian satire meant to underscore the ridiculousness of farm subsidies. (It isn’t.)
Here’s the beer recipe. Now shut the fuck up.
OK, I know Quebec is a distinct society, but if separatism is so unpopular, why is the separatist party set to win the provincial election? Let them separate so we can stop trying to figure them out.
Iran signs a technology agreement with North Korea, which is kind of like Microsoft partnering with Belkin. It’s great, if you need their expertise in failure.
“Import tax deadline has Cuba entrepreneurs on edge.” Wait, now they have entrepreneurs in Cuba? When did that happen?