So many of my fellow politicos love talking about her with me that I decided to devote this entire column to her. Enjoy, boys.
STORY #1: With friends like Ann . . .
I was starting to warm up to Ann Coulter after that unfortunate University of Ottawa incident. She’s back in my bad graces again after her latest column, in which she claimed that Senate candidate O’Donnell (R-DE) won her latest debate with opponent Chris Coons (D-DE). The proof?
- Coons said the Chinese are building up their military capabilities. O’Donnell wondered if he meant China wanted to take over America, the same claim she made that everyone mocked.
- Coons said “[t]he Australian navy engaged in joint exercises with the Chinese” and didn’t invite the U.S. to the party, which was a “dramatic shift” for the Australians. Coulter takes this to mean he fears an Australian invasion.
I will admit that O’Donnell dinged him on how his family’s company would benefit from cap-and-trade legislation. When it comes to foreign relations, however, she’s suffering from a bad case of “I can see China from my house” disease, along with Coulter.
STORY #2: Jefferson lives
She’s also suffering from “misrepresentation of the Constitution” disease, or at least a lack of reading comprehension skills. Because the phrase “separation of church and state” is not in the Constitution, she seems to believe the concept doesn’t exist. Please buy this woman a thesaurus so she can look up other words for “respecting,” “establishment” and “no.”
Of course, so many people have checkmated her by pointing out that former President Thomas Jefferson himself coined the phrase and spoke of it affirmatively. So we’ll move on from that. As I see it, O’Donnell is the reason there should be a separation of church and state: to keep a lid on people whose entire way of thinking is permeated by low-grade religious fundamentalism, as opposed to those who abide by its most basic tenets.
STORY #3: The witch is dead
Guess what? Even she now thinks the “I’m not a witch” ad was a bad idea! Ad students, let us make it a rule that using someone’s ridiculous mockery of you in your own ad, without any humor, is taboo.
O’Donnell seems to believe that everyone calls her these nasty things (even when, in the case of Bill Maher, they don’t call her that at all). Running with it does nothing to halt that. It makes it true.